Chapters Reopened
by SouthernBelle843
Summary: Every time she closes a chapter in her life it's reopened. No matter if it's with her horrific job, screwed up family, failed relationships, or sometimes biased actions. But now she chooses to embrace them as a start to new beginnings and not as returning people from the past. O/OC romance not right away.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's notes: I thought of this a while back. And I know I really shouldn't be creating another story, I had too! I felt like doing something for my birthday.**

Today feels off to her. Nothing's out of the ordinary, her cases are horrific, the perps are all scum, the victims yank at her heart strings, the normal depressing stuff she sees everyday is taking place. But, she feels so… so out of place. Like she's watching a horror film, and she knows there's a monster in the closet and she screams at her tv knowing nothing she does will save the helpless, yet stupid girl from opening the closet.

She watches as an older man calls out her name, the desk sergeant points in her direction. She stands and walks over to said man. '_Don't open the closet.' _her mind screams.

"I'm Olivia Benson. And you are?" Olivia says eying the unfamiliar face.

"Please don't hate me,"He pleads. Fin's head rises from his paperwork, the man's statement made him suspicious. Olivia slowly steps closer to him._'There's a monster in there! Leave while you still can.'_Her mind tries again.

"Why would I hate you? What's your name?" Olivia asks the man.

"I'm Joseph Hollister…you're dad," He says slowly. It's a lot to take in.

"Sir, this isn't funny. I don't know who the hell you are or how you know who my father is but, I do know you need to leave,"he doesn't move so she adds,"Now."

"Olivia, please hear me out,"He begs.

"Do you have a hearing problem? I said leave. Which means get out of my face before you have a serious run in with the law. And you don't want that,"She threatens in his face. He doesn't move nor flinch, just smiles with pride.

"You know your mom use to be as feisty as you,"Joe gets out before Olivia connects her fist with his jaw line with such a force it knocks him of his feet and to the ground.

"Shut up you know nothing about my mother, you son of a bitch!"Olivia growls as Joe gasps for breath. As if a reflect her foot contacts his ribs making a 'thud' noise. Before anyone can get to her, she stops.

"Waste of life and waste of my time," She walks off as nothing had happened.

Fin tries to follow her but Nick puts his hand on Fin's shoulder. "I got this," Nick says pursuing Olivia's trail.

"Nothing to see here people! Go back to work,"an exasperated sigh escapes Fin's lips as he watches Amanda helping the man who claims to be Joseph Hollister.

Up on the rooftop stood Olivia Benson, cursing at the world. Why couldn't the world actually make sense? Why did everything have to be so complicated with her? Her family. Her relationships. Her career. Her life could be described as one big knot that will be forever tangled. Serena basically not knowingly trained Olivia to hate her father. And when Olivia found out he died she was… somewhat disappointed, she never got to make Joseph Hollister pay for what he did to her mother. She use to feel like she was obligated to find her father and put him to justice. Not by the law's definition of justice but, by hers. Then, here comes this man claiming to be her father. She didn't care if this man was her father or not, she was finally going to get what she has wanted for as long as she could remember. Justice and Closure.

"Liv?" Amaro's voice broke the silence.

"What's up?" Olivia asks without looking back at him.

"What the hell was that?"Amaro starts his interrogation looking at her.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? I know you Liv. I saw it in your eyes, you wanted to kill that man."

"But I didn't," She answers, feeling the silver railing under her finger tips.

"What did he say?"Nick pushes.

"Nothing."

"Do you know him?" He tries again.

"No." She smiles as she says this because it sounds psychotic.

"Liv, you gotta start answering questions. What if he presses charges? IAB will be all over this…you,"He tells her getting slightly annoyed with her uncooperative attitude.

Olivia looks to the clouds and laughs,"He won't. As for IAB, they know my shield by heart, I'm not scared of them."

"How do you know he won't press charges?"

"Because he seems like a smart man. Even if he isn't, he knew coming to find me would be dangerous but, he did it anyway."

"Liv just tell me who he is." He begs.

"Someone's impatient," She laughs at her own joke. Olivia turns to see Nick's unpleasant frown. "John Doe claims to be Joseph Hollister. But Joseph Hollister died over 15 years ago." She paints the picture he doesn't get.

"And?"Nick gives her confusion.

"Nick, remember that story I told you was long but wasn't so long after all. Well Joseph Hollister fits into that story...you get what I'm saying?"

"Yea. Yea I do,"Nick lies as he moves next to her on the railing.

Rollins sits in the squad room watching Joseph drink the water she provided. When he finishes she takes his cup and throws it in her trash bin.

"Detective, how close are you with Olivia?"Joseph asks the blonde woman.

"May I ask why?"

"I just want to know who's in my daughter's life," Joseph explains to her. Amanda eyes narrow.

"She never mentioned you, so I just assumed you were…dead,"She says truthfully. Amanda never received Olivia's parent speech, they weren't that close.

"Yea you and a lot of other people…Listen, can you give this to her when you see her?" Joe hands Rollins a white envelope with 'Olivia' scribbled in cursive.

"Sure Mr. Benson," She smiles at him.

"Actually it's Hollister," Was the last thing he said before waking out of the squad room.

**Yay what a way to kick off my birthday, bringing rapist fathers back from the dead! Please follow and review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Recarnation chapter 2**

**A/N: Whoever said "high school will be the best years of your life," obviously was trying to give false hope.**

"Do you think it's really him or an imposture?" Dr. Lindstorm asked getting out his pen and notepad. She watched his hands as he grabbed each object, the way his fingers act like the claw in the arcade game. Anything was better than answering his question. A long exhausted sigh lingered through the air before she spoke.

"I know it's him," She proclaimed, swiping a piece of hair from her head to play with.

"How?"He questioned her. He was genuinely intrigued with everything about her situation that it seems like she's talking to a friend, not a man who is paid to listen to her. And that scares her. No particular reason, it's just becoming friends with your therapist doesn't say much about your mental stability.

"We look alike." She concluded, now staring at the rug underneath them.

"Is that all? Olivia, you can't just assume these things by looks."

"I know Doc. Assuming makes an ass out of you and me. Am I right?" She joked tracing the rug pattern with her eyes.

"Yes that is the saying. Olivia, I've noticed you have been distracted or trying to distract yourself. We should talk about that."

"I have proof,"She said guiding the subject elsewhere.

"More than looks, I hope," He remarked with a smile.

"I got a blood sample when I punched him in the face," Olivia revealed finally looking up at his shocked gaze.

"When was this?"

"Tuesday."

"Today is Friday. Why didn't you tell me about this during our Wednesday session?"

"I didn't think it was worth mentioning…Wow, look at the time. These sessions seem to go faster and faster,"She said quickly putting on her coat and walking to the door. They still had 17 minutes. He quickly blocked her path.

"We have about 20 minutes left. What's the rush?" Dr. Lindstorm asked her suspiciously.

"I have a meeting with the DA's office in two hours," Olivia lied moving past him,"It was scheduled at last minute. Same time next Wednesday, Doc?" She raised her eyebrows at him. As he nodded she took off down the hallway. The only thing on her mind was getting the hell out here.

When she gets to her apartment she closes the door and goes to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of wine.

By the time she got to her couch she was in deep thought. If she was to somehow revenge her mother's down spiral how could she? All the pain and suffering in the world couldn't make up for the bitter and damaged woman he created. She couldn't torture him because she wouldn't be able to live with herself afterwards. She couldn't just shoot him. That was too easy. And what if he dies? That won't solve anything. Death isn't a punishment. For one thing, it's just an eternal sleep, and he's suppose to be dead in the first place so trying to kill her father makes no sense to her.

And would she really risk her entire career, the one she built with long nights, hard work, loneliness, sacrifices, and pure sweat, just to kill someone no one would miss? No, no, no she had come too far to just throw it all away. And of course she would get caught, she doesn't doubt the intelligence of the NYPD. Entirely.

In her experience, some of the smarter perps she faced had accomplices or better yet sidekicks to do their dirty work. Maybe she needed an accomplice. One who had already went to jail and wasn't afraid of going back. Or blackmail some dirty cop and cover her tracks so it can't come back to her. Yeah, that would be easy.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. When she had finally motivated herself to get off the couch and get the door, she opened it.

"How did you get up here?" She asked stepping aside to let the person in.

"Some man held the door for me as he was going in. You might wanna check into the security here."

"I'll put it on my to do list… Amanda, why are you here?" Olivia closed the door.

"I was supposed to give you something but, you know with the case pile up I kind of lost it somewhere under the paperwork. I was searching for an address when the envelope popped back up. Here," Amanda lifted an envelope out of her jacket pocket and handed it to Olivia.

"Um, thanks Rollins," Olivia said looking at the smooth handwriting on the front. 'Olivia' it reads in cursive.

"Yea no problem…Um Liv?"

"Hm?" Olivia turned to Amanda giving her attention to her.

"When can we talk about my problem?" The young woman asked timidly. You would think it was freezing over in hell. One, Amanda Rollins doesn't talk about her problems with anyone and two, her voice sounded small like she was ashamed and scared Olivia would be judging her.

"When you get off work tonight come over and a tub of Ben &amp; Jerry's will be waiting for you," Olivia smiled at her changed expression.

"Half-Baked?" Amanda challenged with wide eyes. Olivia nodded and said,"Now get out of here," She guided Amanda to the door. She was alone once more.

Dashing to her drawer searching she goes, maneuvering everything standing in her way. Thrashing through the junk looking for one object. Old pills. No. A shoe horn. How did that get in there? Old candy. No. A letter opener. Yes, she snatched it and sliced through her letter throwing what was left of the envelope on the floor. It read:

_Dear Olivia,_

_ I don't know what to exactly say to you. You deserve so much more than what I'm able to give you right now. I've been sitting here for hours trying to figure out I want to say to you. It's not that I have nothing to you. There's so much I could put in this letter but would rather tell you face to face. But, I understand if you want to throw this letter away and try to forget I ever appeared in your life. Just know that I'm sorry and... no matter which way you take this, I love you and I want to be in your life._

_Sincerely, Joseph Hollister_

P.S My number's on the back of this paper.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. It reads. How could he love her? He's scum, brutish, nauseating, arrogant, evil, like all the rest. People like him…They what? Can't love? He loved Simon. He loved Sharon. What if he's not the like the rest? What if he actually regrets his crimes? No, he can't do that. But, it seems like he did. It wouldn't matter if he did. These thoughts roamed around in her head.

And she sat on the floor in turmoil for hours. Maybe 3. Maybe 8.

"Olivia!" She heard from the hallway after a few bangs on the door.

"Coming!" Olivia hollered from her kitchen floor. "Dammit," she mumbled as she staggered on her feet. The door swung open to find Amanda waiting impatiently.

"We fight all the time and for no reason it's tiring. Don't get me wrong Liv, I know he's got a lot going on at home but, I should not be dragged into it and I sure as hell will not be the target for all of his anger," Amanda said walking through the door and towards the closet. She grabbed a blanket and went to the couch.

"I mean, we're friends but we're not that close. I look out for him and he looks out for me nothing further. But…nevermind,"Amanda continued looking up at the ceiling.

"Do you have crush on Nick?" Olivia asked smiling in a chair next to the couch.

"What? No, you're crazy." Amanda blushed.

"Because I remember my first few years of SVU I had the biggest crush on my partner," she continued.

"You did?"she asked with bulged eyes.

"Then I realized it wasn't going to happen... Not that it couldn't happen but, I wouldn't let it happen. I realize now, that was a really good decision," Olivia admitted, getting up and going into her kitchen area.

"Oh," Amanda replied with disappointment.

Olivia went into her freezer,"But you and Nick are a different, I'm sure. Just make sure he makes the first move you don't need to put yourself out there,"she grabbed two pints of Ben&amp;Jerry's half-baked ice cream, two spoons, and sat back down.

Amanda eyed one of the pints Olivia has in her hand. Olivia raised an eyebrow and smirked. "You want one?" Amanda's head erupted in nods.

"Here," She passed her a carton and spoon.

When they finished complaining about their men problems and eating their ice cream, they decided to watch a movie. It was nice to have Amanda there. To pass advice on to one another, it was pretty cool.

After Amanda left the next morning Olivia grabbed her phone and sighed. "Screw it," she announced dialing a number she most likely would regret later. "It's Olivia. I want to talk."


End file.
